Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Why I Am Still Single

Figured it was time to shake the dust off my keyboard and post something here.  A friend of mine has recently started a blog (hi, PJ!) and another friend just wrote a post on hers and so forth.  I really have no reason for being away so long.  I have moved to the Midwest as I had said I would - I'm currently living in an apartment with a nice view but looking to move into a condo if the VA ever approves the building.  I have no good excuse like MM did of writing a book or anything.  I just stopped posting for a while.  But I'm back, at least for now.

I am closing on 45 years old this year and I am still single.  For some reason, me and relationships just don't go well together.  I've only ever dated one person I would have liked to get really serious with, and that was only briefly as it happened while I was temporarily attending school in Denver.  For tonight's episode, we will go over a friendship that I felt might have developed into something more, but crashed and burned instead.

It started off when a person emailed me out of the blue.  She was a fan of a review blog that we both were commenting on.  (Hi, Marvo!)  We had several email exchanges - a bit flirty perhaps but nothing really serious.  She did seem like a nice gal though.  The emails proceeded to phone calls and then things dropped off for a while.  However, we did still continue to stay in touch, albeit intermittently.  She lived in Columbus.

Last year, I drove to Pittsburgh to attend a wedding.  As I was driving through Columbus, I tried to get in touch.  I got no reply until I was at my friend's wedding but then she did call back, so we arranged to meet on my way back from Pittsburgh.  My nephew lives in Columbus also right now (attending medical school) and I was already planning to see him, so it was not out of my way.  I had lunch with my nephew and then went back to my motel and called her.

She gave me directions to her apartment, and we talked for a bit before going out for dinner.  We had a very nice meal and conversation - she asked if I wanted to go to a club or something, but I was getting over a cold and I said I'd rather just watch Breaking Bad with her at her place.  So, that's what we did.  Nothing else happened although I did get a goodnight kiss on the cheek.  I didn't return it since I didn't want to give her my cold.

Anyhow, we talked once or twice more after that - I called her when I was on vacation in Orlando last fall and said that my nephew was now engaged and I'd be attending his wedding, and that I would like to see her again when I was there.  She sounded receptive to all of this.  I then made what was probably a mistake and invited her to come to the wedding with me via email - but I also said if she didn't want to come I understood and maybe we could just get together for lunch or whatever.  Anyhow, I got zero response to this.  I tried calling - same thing, it always went to her voicemail.

The weekend of the wedding finally arrived and it was a very nice ceremony and reception.  I saw some family members I hadn't seen in a while and had a good time.  But of course, still no response from this gal.  We were friends on Facebook and the day after the wedding, I noticed she had posted a link about going to some club the night before and what an awesome time she'd had.  For some reason, this pushed me over the edge, and I wrote, "Have a nice life!" as a comment to that post and unfriended her.  Shortly after this, she finally called my phone.  I didn't answer the call.  She didn't leave a message.

This whole exchange seems to sum up me and the relationships I've had or attempted to have - not that I really expected this one to develop into anything serious, since we were living in different cities and all - but I did want to stay friends and I have no idea why I got the total cold shoulder on my last trip there.  Ah well, life goes on.  I have discovered that generally speaking, I am happier being single and not dealing with all the baggage a relationship brings with it.  Of course, things may change in the future but for now, I am happy with bachelorhood.


Merujo said...

Not cool of that chica to not respond. I don't understand stuff like that. It's a reflection on her insecurities and just lame behavior in general. I wish I could embrace my single status better. You should teach classes, Chuck. :)

Annabel said...

Nice to see you post again. I found that for me, I had to be ok with being alone before I could be happy with someone else. This was after I changed careers and moved away from home for the first time in my life last year. You can keep looking and if the right one comes along, you'll know it. Sorry the other lady didn't work out - seems to me that she was looking for something/someone different but perhaps didn't have the courage to tell you. She should have at least been honest about that so that perhaps you could have stayed friends.

Chuck said...

Merujo - I agree, it was lame. Classes, huh? I'll have to think about that. :)

Annabel - You are probably right. I think she may have over-read my inviting her to the wedding, though - I mainly just thought it would be nice to have company there. Still, getting some kind of response - even a "Hell No" would have been nice. Ah well, life goes on.

The ICP said...

Hey, man! Thanks for the props on my blog, which I've been slow to update... Grrr... It's insane how busy I've been, but that's a good thing.