Saturday, October 21, 2006

A brief break from the facts...

This brief break is happening while I celebrate my birthday in Albuquerque. Much better than last year, which I meant to celebrate in Albuquerque, but instead had a very depressing day in Wisconsin, for reasons which I won't go into here right now.

All in all, this has been a positive year, even though the move to Houston was expensive and stressful, and my cost of living is a bit higher there...it's still all worth it. I was very unhappy at my previous employer for various reasons, and I was really SICK of the Wisconsin Winters (which have to be experienced to be believed.) And what the heck, now that it's getting to be nice weather in Texas, why not poke some fun at the climate I just escaped?

LIVING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DIARY:

AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in lovely Wisconsin. It is so beautiful here. The country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow.
I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14
Wisconsin is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are
turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise.
I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon.
I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony.
I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again
that rascal. A winter wonderland.
I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F**king snowplow!

DEC. 22
More of that white sh*t fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That A**hole!

DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted a*s. Mother f**king snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-b*tch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb b*stard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this f**king ice.

DEC. 28
More of the same sh*t last night. Been inside since Christmas day
except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white sh*t. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this sh*t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

JAN. 1
Happy F**king New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 f**king inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and sh*t for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the sh*t he plowed into my driveway.
I broke the 7th shovel over his f**king head.

JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the f**ker. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the f**king salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of sh*t.

MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
f**king mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of Wisconsin!


So, all in all, I'm fairly satisfied with life, but there are some things I want to improve on in the next year or so...get back into a regular exercise routine, lose some weight, actually attempt to go on a few dates...but overall, compared from last year at this time to this year, I like this year a lot better (even if my apartment is messier now than then.)

Posting will be a bit on the lighter side until I get back to Texas.

3 comments:

Marvo said...

Happy Birthday, Chuck!

Suldog said...

Happy birthday! And thanks for the laugh - I could replace "Wisconsin" with "Massachusetts" and not be far off.

Chuck said...

Marvo - Thank you!

Sul - Thanks! Regarding the WI joke, it has been making the internet rounds for some time...I've seen Massachusetts used, but more commonly Michigan, Wisconsin, or Minnesota.